Mathematical Simile:

A Man's intelligence is inversely proportional to the levels of testosterone and alcohol present in his body.

Mathematical Metaphor:

A man's intelligence = Intelligence Quotient / (the mensurable level of Dionysian blood transfused in a saffron masseuse boasting whispers through the cool crystal shot glass of the finest golden tequila)(The amount of passion fueled by a young Pink Venus, her hand wandering in slow circular patterns, a seemingly aimless whistle up the man's inner thigh)